Today I am celebrating my 4th year married to my best friend. It feels like I’ve known my husband forever. I met him in 1999, I think he was cute then and still think he is….. really an eye candy.
What makes a happy marriage?
The answer is simple, stop looking for a fairy tale and just be you from day one. Nothing about my marriage was conventional.
- My husband proposed to me with one ring, than decided to give me another one. (funny, yes he actually asked me to give the other ring back to give me later another one….)
- We picked my wedding dress together (talking about not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding).
- Our wedding costs us $600. (really that’s all we spent).
- I decided not to have a wedding cake…… (Really $3000 for a cake that I am going to eat and probably will not like…)
- We had our honeymoon before the wedding because it was a super great deal…. On our way back home we decided to gamble the last $100 we had left and ended up winning big time…. (we won all the money we spent for our honeymoon…… talking about luck!)
The most important thing is that I am a very happy wife and the secret is, there is no secret. So many people spend months planning a wedding but not the marriage. They spend so much time deciding on table arrangements, flowers and dresses but not so much time on building a true friendship with the person they are going to spend the rest of their lives with. I believe that your spouse should be your best friend before being the love of your life. Think about it for a second, how are you with your best friend? You tell them everything every embarrassing things. You ask them for advice about the weirdest things, you trust that they have your best interest at heart and most importantly you talk to them with respect. I find it heart breaking when a person uses the F*** word talking to their spouse. Even your boss whom you can’t stand sometimes you don’t speak to them ever using the F*** word, otherwise you would get fired right? Your co-workers sometimes get more respect then your spouse, the person who is there for you good or bad, the person who helps you make your dreams come true. You get the picture, right?
If your spouse is your best friend, I believe you will have a happy marriage. One more thing, secrets are just too heavy to carry around and the truth is much easier to remember.
I guess what I am trying to say is to create your own story and enjoy the ride. Your spouse is your partner, and being married to this person should propel you to be better than you were as a single person. Being married should no limit you either. When I decided to get into fitness competition, my husband was all for it because this was something that I wanted to do for me. He is my biggest fan and really involved in everything that I do. He even helped put rhinestones on a suit. When I am doing a photoshoot, he picks the outfits for me because strangely every outfit I don’t like ends up looking great in pictures, even the colors. Simply we are a team and we keep it simple. Lady’s remember stop putting unrealistic expectations on your man. If he doesn’t get you a big diamond ring, it’s not the end of the world. It is not about the ring or how much you spend on THE DAY, be a ride or die partner, be supportive and understanding, not a nag. Guys remember, happy wife = happy life.
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